We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize