i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize