we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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