I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
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I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
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I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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