Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize