I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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