were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize