I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
This girl is more easily done than said...
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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