Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
