Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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