did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize