Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
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