i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i came on her dog
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize