end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
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