Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize