Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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