hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
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Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
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I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
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