I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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