Fine. I'll sleep in my office
tell your sister to shave her snatch
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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