So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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