Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
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he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
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Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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