I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize