'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
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just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
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I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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