The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
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thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
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Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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