I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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