using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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