Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize