i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
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I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
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The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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