Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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