went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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