So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
You can't special order awesome
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Boobs are out for the taking
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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