I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize