Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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