the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize