I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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