Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
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Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
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