Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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