Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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