I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize