I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize