high people should be assigned attendants
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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