Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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