I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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