my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize