the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize