Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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