A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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