Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize