we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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