I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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