Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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