I'm eating all of the evidence.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
